Monday, 23 November 2015

Discharged from ed services

Hey guys,
I come bringing posite news.
I have been discharged from ed services

After 6 long months of being with the ed team today I waved happily goodbye from them.

Thinking back now of how far in those 6 month of how far I have come I am astonished with the progress I have made. In late August I couldn't even think of them discharging me today but after them putting me in inpatient it finally douned on me I can't live my life like tjis as I'm going to spend the rest of my life in hospital. So I gained the weight I needed to and 2 Months today said the best goodbye of my life from inpatient

I couldn't of come to where I am today if it wasn't for all the amazing help I have had from camhs, connected, Skye house, friends and family. And a huge shootout to everyone who comments and cheers me on in the ed community as you have all helped so very much xxx
No one can expect I'm cured now from my ed as I'm not and I know it will take time but I now have the strength to fight and say no to the evil voice that rulled me for 9 months and took everything away from me. And I can say that will not happen again I am strong  and if i struggle again with ed thoughts I will reach for help asap so I don't get into that place ever again when all I could think of was food, calories, exercise, weight and throwing up.

My next step in this journey is to stay weight restored and start focusing on other things in my life like school, friendships and most importantly the rest of my mental health which I haven't talked much about on here but might in the future. And then after work on my other mental health issues get finally discharged from camhs.
Things are looking very very positive right now for me ed wise I just need to use that determination in other aspects of my life but also stay healthy and eat what ever the hell I want and not what anorexia wants.

Love Becca xx

Wednesday, 11 November 2015

Things that help motivate me with recovery

Hey guys, Today I want to talk to you all about the things that help motivate me with my recovery everyday. The thing that mostly spurs me in is the beautiful ed community on instagram but also this book is a huge inspiration to me.

The simplest things as having beautiful quotes and having pictures that remind me of what I have ocumplished over the last 3 months in recovery. 

Also receiving this beautiful letter from one of my friends on instagram keeps me going everday. Just having something that someone else has wrote spurs me on as I think writing means so much more to me than words. 

What are some of the things you find helpful with spurring you on with recovery?

Love Becca xz 

Monday, 2 November 2015

a walk that got me thinking...

Hey guys, on Sunday I went for a very beautiful walk with my dog (this is a photo my friend took later on in the day which I wanted to use), there was some beautiful flowers which had blossomed I started think I need to blossom I cant be like the falling leaves (yes they are pretty but in reality they are dead). I started thinking my eating disorder is what's making me become the falling leaves and that every time I beat
it I am flourishing like a beautiful flower. The falling leaves also symbolise all the things my eating disorder took away from me like sports, meals out, family, friends, my dog, school, happiness and at one point even my own bed.
At one point a few months ago I classified this thing as my best friend that took everything away from me and ended me up in hospital without my family and dog. I don't know how I ever classified that thing as my best friend no way it was going to be my best friend if it wasn't for hospital I would probably be dead by now. I am so glad I now see that blossoming like a flower is the way to go and gain back strength and my life back. To be able to get back all the things that have been taken away from me.  In fact I have already got all of them back bar sport but I am working on it.
I hope this post got you thinking and be sure to comment down bellow what got you on track to proper recover.

Love Becca xx

Friday, 30 October 2015

no thigh gap no problem

Hey guys, I wanted to write a post that would effect mostly everyone in this world except a small percentage and that is the so called thigh gap.

Online we are taught it is natural to have a thigh gap and its beautiful and when we have this thigh gap we will be happy, but is this really the case?

For a very small percentage of people they are lucky enough to be born with a though gap because of the width of there hips (larger hips) but for the rest of us (me included) naturally don't have a thigh gap. So for us it isn't natural for us to have a thigh gap. It doesn't mean we are different than someone with a  thigh gap or there prettier than us in fact we are all beautiful in our own ways. 
If you don't have that perfect thigh gap that society wants you to have it doesn't matter you are PRETTY, BEAUTIFUL, SMART AND YOU DEFINATLY HAVE WORTH! Don't let society get you down over something you may not have but just remember it isn't natural for everyone to have a thigh gap. Don't get stressed about not having a thigh gap and go on x y and z diets because it is not natural for you to have a thigh gap and you will only make yourself hate your body even more (and none of us want that).
I remember when I had that perfect thigh gap before I was admitted to hospital I couldn't see I had a though gap and even at times I did I always though oh it could be bigger ect. a thigh gap will not make you happy in fact for me it made me feel the exact opposite.
Remember you are pretty with out a thigh gap and you do not need one to be beautiful as we are all beautiful in our own ways, it could be your smile, hair, eyes ect.
Lots of love Becca xx

Tuesday, 27 October 2015

my first graze box

Hey guys,
so about a year ago I came across Graze in an advert on the side of YouTube, then I never thought much of it. It wasn't till two weeks ago when I kept coming across blogs and instagrams of people using graze boxes I was so interested. I needed some new ideas for snacks and treats for me to have as I get boarded very very easily with the same old food, I also wanted something healthier than a chocolate bar or a cake. I thought it was an amazing idea to have a box delivered to your home and have 4 snacks in it and in whsmith and other shops also stalk graze snacks so makes it even better.

I ordered my first box on Sunday on the 18th of October and it arrived on the 21st of October, I thought that was amazing as I was so excited for it to arrive and get eating some yummy healthy snacks.

I chose the chocolate box as well my favourite food is chocolate (I know its bad for you but it makes me happy so why not have a piece or two a day).
I enjoyed all of them but  mostly the flapjack.  
I have a voucher for you all if you are new costumers to get your first, 10th and 15th boxes free with this link look out for the future as I will do a giveaway of 2 codes to get 5 pounds off for new costumers.
Love Becca xx

Sunday, 18 October 2015

my trip to brighton to visit my family (includes all the food i ate)

Hey guys,
So on Tuesday morning at 10:30 me and my mum set off on an adventure to Glasgow airport to catch a flight to Gatwick. We got threw security and still had an hour and a half till our flight was boarding so me and mum decided we would have an early lunch (11:10) but knew we wouldn't be eating till much later on. we decided to go to Frankie and benny's for lunch. I had pancakes with maple syrup and bacon and to drink I had a peanut butter shake. It was absolutely delicious.
Then it was time to get boarding the plane. Before we knew it we were in the sky!! I love the view from up in the sky so I always try and get a window seat. I decided I was going to test myself and I had a small normal coke (massive fear drink) and I had half a packet of revels!!
It felt like we had only been in the air for half an hour and it was time to land.
Me and mum got off the plane and we got a shuttle bus from the south terminal to the north terminal as we needed to get the train from Gatwick to  where my grandparents live.  we missed our train by 30 seconds :( so we decided as we had another 40 minutes to wait to go to the toilet and buy my gran some flowers. We got on our train this time with time to spare and it was only a half hour train journey. We then met my gran at the train station and she drove us to hers where we then met my grandpa. The first thing we were offered was cakes and coffee so of course I couldn't decline. I didn't unfortunately get a photo.
Before I knew it was time for dinner that my gran cooked. it was ciabata, cous cous, lamb stew, runner beans and salad. Pudding was lemon drizzle cake with cream. 

Breakfast the next day was a chocolate pastry with a black tea  

We then headed into Brighton and for lunch I had a costa peperoni and mozzarella focaccia and a white chocolate and raspberry cooler with cream on top.
 we then browsed around the lanes.

 view my post on my mac trip

when we got back to my grans we picked up my grandpa and headed straight out again to visit my auntie, uncle, cousin and dog. unknown to me and my mum for my mums birthday (the 17th of October) they decided they would give her a birthday cake which was a chocolate wheat free cake. here's a picture of my mum and the cake.
 So for a late afternoon snack I had not 0ne but two pieces of chocolate cake (huge challenge but I did it!!)

when we got back to my grans she made diner which was chicken in mozzarella and tomato pasta sauce (I was feeling quite bad so I decided not to have mozzarella as I had already challenged myself earlier in the day with mozzarella as cheese is a huge fear food of mine). For pudding we had a fruit salad (which I made) with crème fresh.

The next day unfortunately was me and mums last morning before we had to head to get the train to take us to the airport. For breakfast I had cereal (not sure what this was as we don't get this at home but it was very nice).

For snack I had a few Thornton's chocolates and some diluting juice.

Lunch was cawslaw and cheese sandwiches and ham and tomato and fairy cakes, mince pies and crisps. I had three sandwiches and a fairy cake and three cups of black tea.

I had a very lovely 2 nights with my grandparents and cant wait for my next visit.
I hope you enjoyed seeing what I ate and what I got up to on my trip.
love Becca xx

Thursday, 15 October 2015

my experience of mac Brighton (East street)

Hey guys,
I wanted to share with you my experience with mac in Brighton (east street).
As soon as I went in I felt incredibly excited and I couldn't contain myself just being around all the make up (if you know me well you know I LOVE makeup).

I was strolling around the shop as I was looking for a foundation I had a sample of to buy but wasn't sure what shade I was and one of the mac workers came to ask if I needed a hand and I replied yes I was wondering if you could shade match me to the studio fix fluid. she said she would put me on the waiting list to get an artist to colour match me.

2 minutes later the mac artist called Ashleigh came over and helped and colour matched me. She ended up doing my full face of foundation and eye makeup and lipstick (it looked amazing but the foundation was very natural and I wasn't used to it but still loved it). we got talking about how I want to be a makeup artist and she gave me the most amazing tips in how she became a mac artists and it was so very inspiring and made me feel it would be more manageable with the tips she gave me.

I decided I was going to buy the studio fix fluid foundation and then she asked if I wanted some samples so of course I couldn't not say  yes. I asked her what she recommend I try and she said the prep and prime and then I asked if it would be possible to have a sample of the pro long wear concealer and she gave me two pots of the pro long wear in two different shades and a pot of the prep and prime.

Then my mum asked if I could buy her a mac eye shadow for her birthday so of course being am makeup lover I said yes as I can get a use of it and its my favourite colour and I have nothing like it so want to try it out as I would love to purchase it myself.

What my make up looked like after Ashleigh done it bare in mind I walked into mac with no makeup on so I could get colour matched. The lighting doesn't do it justice as this was taken in top shop in bad lighting.

I have to say this is the best costumer service I have had in a very very long time and I would love to thank the staff in mac in Brighton especially Ashleigh. Next time I'm in Brighton I will definitely run back to mac to buy makeup.


Hope you all enjoyed my haul and also my experience of the mac in Brighton.
Love Becca xx